Today, I will be sharing some of the concepts I learnt from Marshall Goldsmith's What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful. Essentially, Goldsmith asserts that there are 21 habits that prevent successful people from getting to the next level. I am just going to touch on a few of those habits here:

Habit No. 3: Passing Judgment

When someone proposes an idea, what are we likely to do? Goldsmith recommends that instead of offering an opinion, say “Thanks, you've given me something to think about”. If we do this every time someone offers an idea, at least 3 good things will happen:

1) This type of encouraging response will come naturally.
2) When we don't judge an idea, no one can argue with us. We cut down unproductive time on unnecessary debate.
3) People will come to like us more and share their ideas with us because we are seen as approachable.

Habit No. 7: Speaking when Angry

This is something I have to admit I'm guilty of and that is why I can particularly relate to it. When we are angry, we tend to lose control. Hence, the original message we are hoping to put across usually ends up distorted and unpleasant. A good piece of advice is to keep our mouths shut when we are angry because no one can ever know how we really feel. This will also prevent us from saying the wrong things at the spur of the moment. As we all know, something blurted out in the heat of an argument is very hard to take back!

Habit No. 15: Refusing to Express Regret

Apologizing to somebody is perhaps the hardest thing to do. However, it can also be the fastest way to put an end to an awkward situation and/or to clear up any miscommunication. When we tell people we are sorry, we turn them into our allies. A sincere apology forces everyone to let go of the past and focus instead on how best to move forward.

Habit No. 21: Goal Obsession

Perhaps the most interesting habit that prevents successful people from becoming more successful is Goal Obsession. When we become obsessed with achieving a goal, we usually do it at the expense of a larger mission. Goal obsession happens when we do not clearly understand what we really want in life. For example, many people think that happiness can only be achieved when we have made a lot of money. In the process of making the money though, we may end up neglecting the very people (our loved ones) we think the extra money will benefit.

Goal Obsession is one of the many habits I can painfully relate to. I remembered it wasn't too long ago when I was working 12 hour days in a fixed salary job, because I thought I was working hard to secure a better future for me and my ex-girlfriend. However, because of the long hours and the weekends and public holidays I devoted to work, she felt extremely neglected and it didn't take long before our relationship broke down. It was at that instant that I felt totally lost because my goal of a better future with her suddenly fell apart.

While I was focusing on the future, I had forgotten the present and without the present, how can there be a future?

How we can change for the better!

In What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful, Goldsmith also highlighted a number of actions we can take to improve our current situations. He talks about the need to solicit feedback, to “advertise” about the changes you are making or going to make, to listen actively, to express gratitude and so on. He also introduces the concept of “Feedforward” which I found very interesting.

Now, I believe that Smart people learn from their own mistakes. Smarter people learn from others' mistakes. If you want to understand all the habits that may be preventing you from reaching the next level, and an in-depth look at how you can change for the better, I highly recommend that you pick up Marshall Goldsmith's What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful today!

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