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Break-ups are one of the most traumatic experiences women and men will experience in life. Studies compare the aftermath of a break-up to that of losing someone. Break-ups essentially do what the phrase says – they break you apart.

However, it is what you do after a break up that defines what type of person you are. The most important thing to do after a break up is to make the decision to re-take control of your life, especially if you were the one left with the broken heart.

Here are a few ways to do that:

Join a new circle of friends

One of the hardest parts about breaking up with someone is that everyone tends to look at you like you are “damaged” – especially your friends. Yes, it’s wonderful to go to them as a shoulder to cry on; however, what happens a few weeks down the road when you don’t need a shoulder anymore, and they still bring up “his” name or what “she” did to you. Every time they bring up that dark moment in your life, the cut is reopened.

That is why it is so important to join a new circle of friends post break up. You don’t have to stop hanging out with your old friends but meeting new people gives you the opportunity to “start” over; it gives you the chance to work on aspects of your personality you want to change, without your friends criticizing you. In addition, socializing with a new group of people will help you think of yourself as a “whole” person, and not someone who is damaged.

Whether you join a sorority, book club or sports team, meeting new people is a great opportunity to move on without having anyone hold you back.

Take a self defense class

One of the “mourning” stages of breakups is anger. As a result, instead of lashing out at your friends, family or the coffee guy at Starbucks, why not take your anger out somewhere it can be useful?

For women, taking a self defense class strengthens not only your body but your mind. Women who have taken self defense classes say they establish a new sense of awareness about themselves and their physical power.

In addition, gaining the tools and knowledge to protect yourself from an attack, will help you leap forward at a time when it’s easy to feel weak and vulnerable.

Give yourself a makeover

Felicity had the right idea when she decided to cut off her hair after her breakup with Ben. Giving your look a makeover is a key step in taking control of your life and moving on. Whether you get a new hairdo, buy new outfits or get a tattoo or piercing, taking on a new look will help you take control of how you feel internally.

The longer you date someone, the more you tend to lose your identity. By buying a new wardrobe and rocking a new look, you are making people notice you. In addition to looking good, you will also feel good; the better you feel about yourself, the more likely you are to keep up with the positivity and take back control over your life.

Breakups are tough. However, like dealing with any type of loss, you need to make sure you pick yourself up and move on. Don’t just “deal” with a breakup and move on with your life; take control of your life after a break up.

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Useful Resources

Magic of Making Up (How to get your ex back)

M3 System: Get Your Ex Back – boyfriend/girlfriend

Get Over Ex | Forget Your Ex | Get Over Break Up – In Just 24hrs

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This article was contributed by Sylvia Rosen, an online writer who enjoys writing articles on the latest ideas people can do to empower themselves. Whether it’s taking a self defense class or purchasing a home security system, Sylvia believes everyone deserves to feel empowered in their own life.

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