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29 things I learned about life and love

29 things I learned about life and love

By Yee Shun-Jian

1. The more you chase, the more they run. Work on attracting (pulling) people to you instead of chasing after them.

2. Love is not about “finding your other half”. We've been misled to think that love is like addition… 1/2 + 1/2 = 1. No, no, no… Love is more like multiplication… so 1/2 * 1/2 = only 1/4. We need to work on ourselves, so we become whole on our own (do not need or rely on someone else to complete us)… when we do that, we begin to attract other individuals that are whole as well… Realize that 1 * 1 = 1

3. If you never ask, the answer is always no.

4. Money is just a means to an end. Sure, it'll be great to have a lot of money but what we really want isn't the money in and of itself… what we want is what that money can do for us… what it brings us.

5. There's no use trying to logically convince a woman. You can't change a girl's mind unless you change her mood first. Wait… that works for everyone…

6. Besides “I love you”, the next best thing you can say to someone is “Thank you”. People love to feel appreciated. Why deny them such a wonderful feeling, by withholding two words that don't cost you anything?

7. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face… and don't grab your crotch in public. You're not Michael Jackson.

8. Facebook isn't real life. Real life is when you go out and do crazy stuff. Facebook just reminds you of all those crazy stuff you did.

9. If someone slapped you, you get hurt once. If you keep replaying that movie of the person slapping you in your mind over and over again, you get hurt a thousand times. So when is NOW a good time to stop slapping yourself and start letting go?

10. Nobody likes doormats. Nobody respects doormats. Stop agreeing with everything I say. Have an opinion. It's attractive.

11. Stop looking outwards for external things, people and events to fill up your inner void. You're looking in the wrong place. The answer you seek is INSIDE.

12. The iphone is great… it can help you do a lot of things. But it can't give you a hug when you're feeling down. So stop fiddling with your iphone when you're out with your friends… unless you're coding the “hug me when everyone's gone” application.

13. Spend time with your family. Take your parents out for meals and movies. It doesn't cost a lot… but it makes them really happy.

14. When you stay EMO, you're telling the right guy/girl who comes along: “I'm not ready for your love because I'm still upset about what the wrong guy/girl did… run along now… I'll catch up with you in 20 years tops!”

15. Nobody owes you anything. I repeat… nobody owes you anything!

16. In 5 years, you'll look back and laugh at the biggest problem you're having now.

17. If you aren't happy single, you won't be happy in a relationship. Another person only magnifies your problems. You'll project all your unhappiness on the poor guy/girl and he/she is going to leave you and you'll reaffirm to yourself that you suck. Happiness doesn't start with someone else… it starts with you.

18. Love yourself first. How can you hate yourself and expect someone else to love you?

19. Stop reading about other people's success stories and idolizing them and start doing what it is you are supposed to do to create your own success story so others can read about and idolize you.

20. Figure out what you want… otherwise others will just string you along to accomplish what THEY want.

21. Once in a while, do the opposite of what that little voice inside is telling you. See what happens.

22. The media is full of propaganda. Don't believe everything you come across in the newspapers and on tv.

23. There is no magic pill.

24. Nobody's zooming in on all your perceived flaws and judging you because of that except yourself. Seriously, most people won't notice your beer belly until you tell them about it.

25. Don't always try to be the hero. You can't help someone who's not willing to help themselves.

26. Most people equate attention to love… that's why we're always doing silly things to get attention.

27. Don't be so afraid of death that you stop living and going after your dreams

28. We are so used to taking things for granted. Stop, just for a second, to admire the beauty that surrounds you.

29. At the end of the day, no matter what you do, you'll have critics. Just do what you love and what makes you happy, and be thankful there are people who care enough to talk about you.


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Shaz says:

Great, really enjoyed that x

Zoe says:

Thanks, Shun-Jian, for sharing Simple and so true.

bakare says:

it is excellent, rally a success but not everything i believe. person can dream and make someone and idol. that give the person ample opportunity to lean from the person mistake

Meru Miller says:

The article is a good road map for the success of any one especially the point no. 19 is excellent.


Michaela says:

Beautiful. Thank you!

John B. says:

Saddening. It’s painful to see thousands who lost their lives in the Japanese earthquake and tsunami. My heart goes out to all of them. May God repose their souls. We love both in life and death. Love for the living and love for the death. That is the lesson life has taught me. Rest in peace and love.

haile says:

I have read it! I take it as a drink of cold water when you are thirsty!

alejandra says:

Very interesting. All your posts are. I want to share one lesson I´ve learnt: Do not try to live with expectations as how things will turn out, you save all the suffering when things do not match your expectations, and you concentrate on the present moment which is something unique. You stop judging your circumstances by accepting them. And from this perspective everything starts changing by itself.

Nice article dude..I totally like the idea of motivation, personal development and so on. A little work on the site would be great.

Amazing advice! A lifetime of wisdom.
If only we could achieve what we aspire… and if only we could live what we know is truth!

Katie Brandt says:

#9 hit me square in the face becasue it is so true – forgive, move on, learn and STOP living in the past

KJ says:

I already subscribed to your website. I want to receive a copy of “101 Powerful Affrimations”.
Please send

Hi KJ, make sure you click on the link in the confirmation email… Once you do that, the 101 powerful affirmations will be delivered to your email inbox automatically

Godfrey S says:

thanx Shun Jian, this is a day to day running of the lives we live.Keep it up.

Wendy says:

Hi Shun Jian. Thanks for reminding me about the things that matter in life! A very good and useful reading material. Keep it up!

NP Jara says:

I totally agree with #5. And #7 is good advice (very funny too!). I love #29, very true, we are the reasons why our critics thrive LOL. Thanks for sharing!

Jepahos says:

A great article, very simple but never noticed things yet so important,

Jonathan Mahoney says:

My favorites are 8, 10, 12, and 22. Thanks for the post. =)